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Them. Loves.
Grams, Aq, Grands.
Ummi's big girl.
Saturday. June 6th,09
Ummi had her work department's bbq pit and we all tagged along. I was cigarette deprived and had a real bad tummy ache when I went home. Puked like nobody's and met them,loves afters. The tummy ache continued and stayed till I get home. Dunk a little more warm water and ended up vomitting again. It snoozes through my nose and *urgh*..Geli nyah....
And so on Sunday. June 7th,09... Met them loves, in the afternoon. plan was to catch a movie and stuffs but ended crashing at Danielle's playing guitar heroes and stuffs. (cool..)
Something happen. I shall not say what, but if you readers get the picture, then what I'm trying to "hide" is not good enough. Then again, decipher.
I shall not be ignorant about what happen. But i chose not to believe what I saw. I humiliated you in front of them who had the highest respect for you. I apologize. But any woman would have done that. Then again, I know what it is like to be in that kind of situation. I'm sorry. Its just that You did that too many times and I just feel its unfair to be that another person.
I always believe that its important to be happy, I want to become a woman of values. Not a woman of success. -Successful woman aren't happy sometimes. Heard of the saying, ' When the going gets tough, the tough gets going' ? I suppose I've been trying too hard to be that woman. But not many see through me. (Except a couple or 3..) I tried being patienceand my pretentious acts have been working too well that I've been hurting myself. I didnt know where I was heading and I didnt execute the right reaction for that action. They say, " The opposite of Love, is indifference" - I shall agree to it.( Unless you can prove me wrong)
Honestly, the calignious you tried hard to stay the way it was,but I guess, there's more of me than meets the eye. I wish I didnt have to see it. Its all coming back to me...But Im all cool about it now...Though I was fuming mad and upset..Like I've said before..My anger doesnt last for long.. Because being angry hurts even more... One must sort out his priorities. Think of all the possible consequences.
Result is yours, Then its your responsibilities. Not trying hard to convey excuses. Someone once said to me..Time is constant..Its You who moves and make changes. I shall move faster than before. Probably I was too comfortable with the pace I set, I didnt see the vast changes that has been changing around me. And I am going to avoid the same nitty-gritty mistakes that has happened. I must start learning more.. I shall not point fingers at others. I blame myself. Problems are not materials. Its me. Because Im in it. I am here today where my thoughts have brought me. I need to make more changes..Not for anyone as yet. But for myself..Because, Im always a step closer to my own achievements to make changes for others with each and every passing by..
If I dont live my life to the fullest, Life will live me to the least. Ummi always tells me...Plan with purpose, Prepare with Prayers, Proceed positively and Pursue Persistently.
You,
Start looking for 'yourself'. Before you look for others. Then again why should you. You know I am always around for anyone. I learn to listen, I learn to help. And it all doesn't come easy. Its because I searched for it. Its in me. Its in you too. I always tell them all... When you think things dont go according to your stride, let it go. But retain the experience. It makes one learn how to be even stronger. Dont make setbacks and failures a personal one. Dont break just because of that. Take it as a challenge to improve yourself!...A swallow doesnt make a summer. Then again, Your weakness doesn't make you a failure forever.
Love.
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