Yes Readers.

Pathetically ill.


Down with the bug.


Mother and me.



'BUGS'

( Pictures are uploaded Just for my loyal readers.)

I arrived in Singapore on Sunday night and since then, I've been busy preparing myself for work, ballet and helping myself pertaining to certain matters that has been bothering me.
Anyway, I shan't blabber about a personal failure that I'm not quite proud of and I'm beginning to be wary and even more afraid than before.
Afraid of consequences and reasons that will befall me. Then again, a personal failure is something for me to improve myself and prepare for more challenges.
A swallow does not make a summer. My weakness will not make me a failure forever.

KUL's trip been pretty okay, Mum's effort and patience had brought a whole lot of laughter and perfect little reason why life's such.
Such- as in little imperfect details that we see and we fall in love with them.
Life was never like a box of chocolates I'd say. Know why?...- Chocolates have many flavours. Just choose. And if you were given multi-flavoured chocolates in a box, open it and choose what you wanna taste. (Duh!)

At the end of the day, I will have to make a firm statement. I cannot go on like this. Its bothering me alot. I feel like I'm sacrificing myself. I'm giving in too much and letting others have thier way. But its just that I dont wanna hurt any one of you. I'd probably hurt you alot more through this process but hey, it was NEVER intentional. I suppose trying not to hurt you is hurting you. I dont want to give up, but giving in doesnt means giving up. And I know its not fair for you. Its not fair for me either. Im falling back on tracks that I never want to walk on anymore.
I never believe in fate. Nor in luck.
Nasib, Takdir, Patut. - I'd say patut.

I ought to. Ought to choose. Make wise decisions and make myself understand things. But I believe that I've been understanding too much thats why I lie. Lie so that no one gets hurt. Know what, trying to maintain and care for the fragility of a heart, is hurting me so so much.
Im sorry that if anyone were to see through it all. At least lying is better that pretending!
Nevertheless, this cannot continue. I'm sinful to myself in such a way. Darn.
As much as I'm accepting my human frailty, but I always knew somehow, Hope gives me the strength in life to go on, expand and grow.

If I ever went silent without a note, I dont want any to worry. Please don't.
Because, if I believe that others must be given chances and opportunities, why can't I have it too?
I need that sole time to myself, to better understand, knowing what to do without being told and of course, what to say, when I don't know what to say.
Whoever you are...I will never hate, because I probably have once loved you. And yes, to any others.I've been loving you. I will still love you forever and ever as long as I still breathe.