Dearest Tiffany

Dearest Tiffany.
You know why I lied. To you?
Because you'll just run away if I start to talk.
You know why?..Because you're that little girl who claims to be playing along in a game that you yourself started.
You're horridious.
and Pathetic. I hated it when you started pleading. I should have just kept quiet.
See, now it makes me the bad girl.

I didn't start any game. -You did.
I was just the winning player.
You played pretense, but I was playing it even better.
You should have seen it coming.
Im sorry you didnt.
Look back at your little flaws while you were with Martin.
You spoke of Jude, Alex and who....?-
(Go figure)

Its sad enough how unhappy you are with your pretty life but what's life all about without its imperfection?
You claim to have problems but that problem is You.
I'm sorry. Because you will have to know sooner or later. The fact that you'll come up to me when Im ignoring you,plead me to talk to you.
You diss them who makes things worst and demand hatred to take control. and expect me to give in.
I've been silent about the little things you do just to spite others and I merely empathise with them because of the things you do.
I then realise why should I give in when they're innocent towards me.

You keep rubbing salt to make the wounds inflammed. You keep throwing fuel just so that the fire keeps burning. But you didnt notice that the fire began to sting you although it didnt touch you, because there were those who prevent it from hurting you.
Nevertheless, It has simply been just you who make sure they got burnt.
you'll always say that things are difficult but did you ever notice that there are others who tried so hard to make things simple and easy for you but hey...you degrade little helps from others and you promote self-negativity. Instead of just being reserved as a woman.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you in any sense or any way but my lack of knowledge to understand you have been tiring enough and yes, I admit, it wasnt easy being your friend. I kept giving in. I was at loss.
Why talk now?.. - it serves no purpose anymore.
I assume the changes you claimed you have made is perfect enough and it satisfy you as a person.
I'm not good and perfect myself too. I loved you like any other girlfriend or sister would do.
Your hugs and kisses meant the whole world to me but its just sad that I have to know of things taking a turn.

Tiff, I hope you understand why Im being this way. I hope You do.
Because its not easy putting on pretentious acts just to be mindful of your feelings and everythings else.
As much as I tried not to hust others and you. I got hurt even more.
And I believe one day....You'll attain that beautiful dream you've always dreamt of. But check reality.
Sometimes things dont go according to our stride thats why we must be content and syukur that He still listens and watches over us because of prayers said by those who loves us.

loving you.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

And to You Leanne.
I apologise again should there be any misunderstanding between us. I just followed what my heart says and I believe that things happened for a reason. I was made to learn of things and open my eyes even wider to those nitty-gritty things. I, too, will always love you and acknowledge the fact that I knew of your existence.
Alhamdulilah. I had you as a friend and a sister.
ALhamdulilah. God gave me Tiffany and You and those I met and make little differences in my life.
Whatever it is...Im still around. The girl you knew since January..?
Its been a pretty 6months friendship and 'sisterhood'
I had many great great and sweet memories with ya'll. I'm still looking forward to more of it.

OKay, this sounds like as if I'm leaving ya'll for good....
Im not!..

xxxxxxxxxxxx-kisses.