These Past Few Days...

Warm greetings to everyone.

And I do apologise for the late entrees and also many other unintended snapping.

(If you know what I really mean.)

These past few days have been very exhausting and I've been trying my very best to take certain things into my stride -making the most out of the very last strength i have for them.

My sisters and I have been pretty sensitive and emotionally imbalanced, while Dad tried to be "cool" about our current situation.

Grams and Grands, Mama and Papa, My loved Ones @ school, Bud for the mass message you've sent out for the endless prayers, My puffer fish and family for the extra supports which made us pull through with the absence of mum and those who knew of, been very very supportive I must say. I will definitely not forget it all. Not at all.

Thank You...

Everything happened so fast and all so sudden. Amidst the preparations for the recovery we thought it was, Mum had to be sent back to the hospital,Doctor said, there was some infection underlying the healed wound(she had 16hours of surgery done to remove her lymph nodes.)

The infection was so severe that it has penetrated through her blood stream and the surgeons are afraid it will attack her heart valve.

Please tell me that all of it has something out of it!!

Yes, tears and little lectures from Mama and many others were given but I told my sisters that
" They love you, thus all of this."

I was telling myself throughout the little journeys to school or to the hospital, Life is actually too short to worry.

-Why was I worrying of little things or even big ones when I should be counting the blessings?!

-Why was I looking back at the little things I should have done when instead, I should be looking forward and thinking of things I must be doing?!

-Why was I pretending to be strong when I can actually lie about being strong?

I was very scared, petrified, worried and upset. I break down the moment there was silence and Mum was so clear in my mind.

Being prepared for the unexpected and telling myself mum was gonna be alright!

And yes indeed...She is doing perfectly fine. Alhamdulilah.

Despite what the results have been told, she was doing fantastic. I told her...

" tell yourself,I am perfectly well and healthy."

Alhamdulilah, in the moment of awaiting for what more the doctors have to say...I sat and chatted with her the whole night, exceeding the visiting hours. Chatted about what was it like in HongKong when we went there during our holiday. I was probably about 18months at that point of time.

To quarrelling over how much balance she had in her POSB account.

To the nitty-gritty things she experienced the moment she wakes up in her ward and also which nurse was more professional than any other ones.

Oh yes, I'm glad that Mum wakes up the next day, He gave that extra lease of life she needs...I am extremely happy when she calls home despite her low running battery when we rushed to the hospital just to pass the charger to her so that she can call us the next day.

Dear God,

I thank Thee, for that little imperfections in life You've bestowed upon me and my family.

I'd rather thank You for all the hurdles you've set for us in life than being angry at you.

For what you've given us draws our family so much closer than looking back at what he had many years ago.

Dear God,

I thank Thee, for being there when ills and evils catch up.

You watched over us, you have given us perfect gifts in life although I know, it didn't came with a bow.

I know its all a challenge, but I take it. I made that effort.

That effort to set ease, and at least a little stronger and prepared.

It wasn't a simple lesson, We learn it through such difficult theoretical aspects.

It wasn't an easy task, just by holding on to one another, It was a challenge on how long we were holding on and how we were holding on.

They always say, "there's always a light at the end of the tunnel." or "there is always sunshine after the rain."

I agree.

But sometime things aren't that rosy and I'm beginning to accept it all just like that, and I know I will see that sunshine after this heavy downpour, that bright light that will never darken any tunnel.

XxXxXXxXxXXxxxXxXxX.....